I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My bed smells like the plague
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
