remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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