You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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