He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
