So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
