I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
But break dance skills will only take you so far
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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