just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize