and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
two words: eviction party
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
