plz talk dirty to me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
