I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
