I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
