i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize