Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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