You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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