I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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