very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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