Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
