Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
