This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
