turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
