Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
