he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize