You made me cry and you don't even care
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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