i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
