He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
