she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
whose parrot is this?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
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