At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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