I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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