I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
