i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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