found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
