also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just cropdusted the office
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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