Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize