Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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