Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
