Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
