He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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