My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
