At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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