No awkward lesbian experiences without me
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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