No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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