my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
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