I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
