i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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