I heard we made out
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
