I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i was born a porn star she said
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize