i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
