So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
