All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
