I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
