Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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