worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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