Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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