If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
