I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So vagazzling was a success
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
