I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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