I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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